I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
