just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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