I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
