ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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