he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
