I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
