I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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