Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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