oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
So much rum. So many feels.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
