The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
