Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
3 2 1 whiskey
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
