i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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