I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
