dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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