toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Are my feet made of real feet?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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