My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I need to calm my uterus...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
