Kareoke will never be a sober sport
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
