I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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