My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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