well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize
