when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
