I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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