I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
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