haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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