I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I faked an abortion last night.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
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