So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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