Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
