I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
how does that bad decision feel?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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