first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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