They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
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