i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
