ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
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