Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
