Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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