What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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