I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
