either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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