Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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