: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
