just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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