I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
