Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
