I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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