they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize
