My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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