At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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