This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
