Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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