She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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