so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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