well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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