Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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