just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
