OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
