And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize