just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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