dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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