Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
