Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the condom got lost in my hair
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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