Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
