That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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